1. Own guns! (much)
I was shocked recently to see this sign at the entrance of a community center in a nearby village. Maybe I shouldn’t have been? Tell me, Czech readers. But considering that gun violence is a huge thing and often unregulated in the States and absolutely not here (CZ gun deaths 2014: 191, US gun deaths 2014: 33,599 and 4819 so far in 2017), I didn’t expect to encounter it. There are an estimated 800,000 gun owners in CZ as compared to 55 million in USA.
2. Allow themselves to be interrupted
3. Say “excuse me”
Czechs know how to say sorry when they are wrong, but many Americans would be surprised at how common it is to get bumped, pushed, or plain knocked over by people walking by without them so much as glancing back. Though we make fun of Canadians for apologizing too much, Americans really say sorry quite often when it comes to accidentally pushing people – it’s socially required. I’ve seen this phenomenon most often while shopping in the supermarket. If you’re wondering, yes, I spend a lot of time staring at abusers of my American custom with mouth wide open long after they’ve walked away. See the gif.
4. Accept repeated thank you’s or apologies
American custom says that when a person goes out of their way to help or be nice to you, you should thank them a minimum of three times (I’m estimating; it’s often thirty times). Politeness also puts pressure on us to apologize more than once for things which have nothing to do with us (“I’m so sorry to hear you had a bad day”) or even minor mistakes.
Example from my first year: I broke some kind of dishware, a plate or glass. I apologized a few times while helping to collect the broken pieces. Later, I said, “Again, I just want to say I’m so sorry…” and I was finally told, “Really, it doesn’t matter at all. Breaking things is actually considered good luck.”
That’s a convenient tradition if I’ve ever heard one! Just wish I’d known it before I spent 15 minutes crying on the inside.
Czechs tend not to understand it when I thank them or apologize repeatedly. Once is enough, if it’s even considered necessary at all. Why should you thank me? – it was no problem. OR, Why should you be sorry for something you didn’t cause?
In fact, despite the levels of cultural and linguistic formality, Czechs can often be very direct. When you are apologizing/thanking them too much or they think you want something from them (but not when they want something from you), they prefer to cut to the chase. Americans tend towards a “could you please, whenever you get the chance” / “kindasorta busy right now, maybe later, if I have the chance” sort of diplomacy.
5. Introduce others, or say hello to strangers
6. Arrive late
7. Think in extremes
For Americans, most things are THE BEST or THE WORST. Czechs leave their stronger adjectives for the times which really call for them, which I have to accept even though I don’t like it 😦
But it is entertaining to watch people’s faces anytime I say that anything is better than good. (I am usually talking about cake.)
Example: “That was the best lunch I ever had!”
Czech people:
Do you agree with these “don’t”s?
[…] As I have learned in the last few years, Central/East Europeans and Americans have completely different ways of expressing their enthusiasm. […]
LikeLike
[…] time in the last few years marveling at seemingly simple things while Ondra (and often, his family) have no idea what I find so fascinating. Now, I’m getting to experience what that’s like from the […]
LikeLike
[…] Why is this strange? In the US, every waiting room has a little desk or window for the secretary. We call ahead to make appointments for doctor visits and these appointments are taken very seriously. The secretary should be the friendly face and PR person of the office – if we wait more than 10-15 minutes for our appointment, we need someone to complain to. […]
LikeLike
[…] in the U.S., it is acceptable to sometimes talk to people you don’t know (people you are waiting in line with, etc.). I really like talking to strangers, even if I […]
LikeLike
[…] continued) There’s a big difference between politics in Czech and in America, because Czech people don’t really care about politics that much, or when they talk about it, they’re not that concerned and wouldn’t get into […]
LikeLike
[…] people who have somewhere to go. You’ll get bumped by 500 people in the span of one minute, and they will not apologize to you because you were asking for […]
LikeLike
[…] Should you apologize or thank someone a million times? […]
LikeLike
[…] In American culture, we must always act like everything is wonderful, just dandy, just swell, the absolute best it could be, amazing, awesome, A-okay! That’s why we often ask how you are, but really it’s just […]
LikeLike
Btw, I remembered another one super peculiar thing I’ve seen Americans do when I was in Oregon that Czechs never ever do. We never write on gifts (unless maybe we send them by mail) from whom they are. Even when you’re adult, christmas gifts come from Jezisek, end of discussion.
LikeLike
I KNOW!! haha! and when it’s not written, we’re very quick to say whom it’s from. we also like to write personal Christmas cards but the first year I was here, I was told that that’s very unusual.
LikeLike
Nice. As a Czech person, I have few comments:
1) Not introducing others is simply lack of manners. It’s something we are supposed to do, but some people forget it way too often.
2) Not talking to strangers on the other hand is very much deliberate and I believe it to be a heritage of the Communist regime when talking to the wrong person could easily get you unpleasant talk with the secret police. To this day, we don’t talk to strangers and to a degree, we immediately suspect any stranger that approaches us.
LikeLike
I thought of the connection to Communism too, but do you think even young people have that suspicious feeling? I know it’s part of Czech heritage but they probably couldn’t identify it consciously – what do you think?
LikeLike
I think they just take it up from their parents. People may not consciously connect it to the previous regime, but they are doing consciously. It’s almost part of the etiquette. You don’t talk to strangers unless you have a reason. Saying “whats up, man” to a stranger on a street is almost seen (and sometimes used) as a form of aggression.
It doesn’t help the matter that most people that do approach you in public in a big (big, haha, I know) city are:
1) Insurance salesmen.
2) People reeking of beer who just need X Kc for bus, where X happens to be the price of the cheapest bottled beer in the nearest watering hole.
3) All kinds of charity drive people guilt tripping people who are just trying to get to work/school.
So, mostly people who want your money.
LikeLike